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WHERE�S THE GROOM?? A group of about 200 guests showed up for the wedding. The time for the ceremony came and went and the photographer, musicians, minister and the site caterers began to get impatient.
After 45 minutes of waiting, I, the officiant, approached the bride
and asked when the groom was going to arrive. Through tears and dismay
she explained to me that the groom was in jail. He had been arrested
for DUI!!
An announcement was made to the guests that there wasn�t going to be
a wedding! So, the bride calmly stated that they were going to have
a reception anyway.
A few months after this social disaster, I performed the ceremony for
the couple in a home with about a dozen guests. I suppose the bride
thought is was better to marry the guy than to kill him!
WHERE�S THE MARRIAGE LICENSE?? It is required by law for the couple
to have a marriage license. Before one ceremony, I asked the groom to
give the license to me. �OH �.!!!� He said, �I left it in the limousine!�
The limo was not due to return until hours later after the reception.
WHERE�S THE RING?? In the middle of a wedding ceremony, I asked the
groom, �Would you have the vows that you have made sealed by the gift
of a ring?� The best man handed the bride�s ring to the groom. I began
to state, �As you place the ring on the wedding finger of your bride,
please repeat after me�� The groom dropped the ring which fell through
the cracks of the deck on which we were standing!! The tide of the bay
of San Diego was out, so some of the groomsmen scurried underneath the
deck and finally found the ring in the mud�.just before the tide came
in.
WHERE�S THE RING?? I recall that one bride received an unusually large
diamond ring from her groom. I was later informed that the somewhat
absentminded bride accidentally dropped the ring into a disposal unit
of her sink. That problem could have been solved; however, the bride
then intending to turn the light on, turned the disposal unit on!!
WHERE'S THE RING?? At a Yatch Club, I asked the usual question concerning the ring. the best man feighned shock as he searched through his pockets for the ring. thes theatrical performance was then followed by the four groomsmen down the line acting out the same search for the ring in their tuxes. The fifth goormsman put up his hands in dismay, walked to the edge of the bay, pulled up a plastic fish on a line.....and pulled the bride's ring out of the fish's mouth!! The guests laughed as they applauded.
WHERE�S THE RING?? I asked my usual question of the groom, �Would you
have the vows that you have made sealed by the gift of a ring? The young
boy serving as the ring bearer started to hand the ring to groom and
dropped it in the thick grass of the wedding site! With much effort
and some luck, we recovered the ring.
WHERE�S THE BRIDE�S VEIL?? One wedding was just beginning when the bride
informed us that she had forgotten her veil at home. Guests, minister
and all impatiently waited while the bride�s father drove home about
20 minutes away to get the veil.
WHERE�S THE BRIDE?? At a beautiful landmark hotel in La Jolla, the wedding
site was decorated to have the appearance of a medieval ceremony. A
local TV station had heard of the special wedding and was filming it
for the news that evening. I asked the buxom bride to repeat the vows
after me. She began to do so and then paused, stared ahead and fainted
to the floor. Her low cut wedding dress failed to continue to cover
her innocence as she fell to the floor. Hoping not to be misunderstood
I quickly been down on my knees and covered the bride�s bosom with my
ceremony notes. I was afraid to watch the news that evening!!
WHERE�S THE MAID OF HONOR?? I did not witness this one, but was told
it by trustworthy sources. In the midst of a ceremony, the bride announced
that there was not going to be a wedding after all. She then went on
to explain that she had found out that her groom had slept with her
maid of honor!